Water Marks
Jesus probably kneeled down.
A poem by Rev. Sarah Speed
He probably took Peter’s heel
in his hands
to wash his feet.
And I wonder if they both thought of Jacob—
the heel-grabber,
the trickster who wrestled
with God.
I wonder if it felt like a do-over,
a fresh start for creation.
I wonder if the basin overflowed
when Jesus poured the water out.
I wonder if it splashed,
leaving water marks on the floor—
proof that love was really there.
I wonder if I would have let Jesus do the same.
Would I have been like Peter and said,
“Not just my feet but my head and my hands”?
I suppose I can look at my life today
and answer the question.
Have I allowed myself to be loved?
Are there water marks on the floor?
Have you ever heard yourself on camera? Have you ever had someone play a voicemail that you had left them? For me, hearing a recording of myself can be like fingernails on a chalkboard. I am critical of not only what I say but how I say it. I critique the filler words, the “umms,” the pauses, the tone. It is difficult for me to love my own voice when it is played back to me. I find it much easier to listen to others and give them the grace I am unwilling to give myself.
The foot washing found only in the gospel according to John, is a powerful scene. Jesus kneels before each disciple to wash their feet. Peter does not want Jesus to wash his feet. Perhaps Peter feels unworthy. Maybe he feels he doesn’t deserve the grace and love of his teacher. Internally Peter wrestles with allowing himself to be loved unconditionally. However, Jesus is willing to wrestle Peter if it means he will know of God’s love for him. He knows all of Peter, the good, the bad, the secrets, and that does not deter Jesus’ compassion. Peter is worthy of love, even his dusty dirty feet.
Have you allowed yourself to be loved?
Are there water marks on the floor?
We may struggle with loving ourselves, but God loves the sound of our voice even when we don’t. God loves us despite our past mistakes. God will wash our feet, the parts of us that feel below God’s attention. The truth is nothing is below God’s love. At the table we commune with a God that loves all of us. At the cross we witness a God that has loved the vulnerable and marginalized until his last breath was taken from him. And so, I leave you with this charge as we approach holy week…
Allow yourself to be loved,
For the water marks are on the floor!
Blessings for your Journey,
Rev. Keith McDevitt