“A week later, his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it on my side. Do not doubt but believe.”
–John 20:26-27
It may be the season of Easter, but you may still be stuck in Holy Week. Jesus may have risen from the dead, but you may be holding the loss of someone you love, whose earthly presence will not rise again. Every day, we learn more about the devastation of war in Iran, the effects of unchecked greed, and the injustices that affect bodies and minds. In this post-resurrection story, we often cast Thomas as the doubter, an example of someone who lacks the faith and certainty of the resurrection. Who could blame him?
We don’t know what Thomas was doing for a week, but when his teacher and friend was killed, he isolated himself from his community. He could have been sitting at home passing away the time, thoughts looping, trying to find some peace. He could have been wandering all the places that reminded him of his Jesus, the banks of the River Jordan, or the place where they fed the 5,000 together. Perhaps he went back to the place where Jesus washed his feet, and with grief, remembered his great love. Thomas doubts, but who could blame him? Who could blame us when we experience heartbreaking tragedy or try to make sense out of rampant injustice today? We all doubt.
Faith does not equal certainty. Faith is not simply believing everything without question. Faith is trusting that which can’t be known, the presence of abundant and giving love that can be felt and experienced, that no human category or theological box can fully contain with certainty. We have permission to doubt. We are expected to doubt. Even Jesus believed God had forsaken him on the cross. Give yourself some grace as you walk with Thomas.
His doubt appeared to be a barrier, a locked door no one could enter or leave. However, in the story, Jesus passes through the locked door. Jesus, the Good News that there is life after death, that God’s love and God’s justice will establish the kin-dom of God, is not hindered by our doubts. Resurrection still happens. With the wounds and suffering, Jesus calmly says, “Peace be with you.”
Where do you doubt the possibility of resurrection in your life, in a relationship, or in the world? Go to God. Through prayer, unlock the door, and share your doubts with your God.
God understands our doubts and is with us. God does not judge us, but loves us. To you of faith who can doubt and love God, “Peace be with you.” Allow these words to walk with you, talk with you, for you are his own.
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