I am the way I can forgive my brother I am the kinder way we treat each other I am the way I can forgive my brother That’s who I am, that’s who I am
I am the way I can forgive my sister I let go the past and tell her how I’ve missed her I am the way I can forgive my sister That’s who I am, that’s who I am
I am the way I can forgive my mother I am the way I can forgive my lover I am how clearly I can see the others That’s who I am, that’s who I am
– Bobby Jo Valentine
In August, we hosted singer-songwriter Bobby Jo Valentine in our sanctuary. Sitting in the pews, listening to music and stories, it was worship. Between every song, Bobby would go deeper with either the lyrics of his songs or with lessons he had gleaned from difficult moments in his life. He shared about the time he lost everything to wildfires in California. He shared his ongoing struggles with mental illness, and those who reached out to check in on him. He even challenged those at the concert to reach out to a friend or family member who may need a wellness check. I’m writing that as a friendly reminder to myself and to those who attended the concert to check in on that person.
However, there was one lesson that stuck with me, a lesson that came around several times, and that was to “love others in advance.” In Bobby’s words, when we love people in advance, we are off the hook for how to respond in the future. Our behavior, the way we treat others, and the way we keep them accountable, will be from a place of abundant love.
It made me think about other ways we choose to treat others in advance. Love is invitational, bringing people in. I wonder if choosing not to love in advance means we are choosing not to invite people closer. Instead of forming relationships, we are constructing walls. In advance, I am smarter. In advance, I am right. In advance, I am kinder. In advance, you are the screw up. In advance, I am better than you.
Love does not play that game. Love does not lead with figuring out whether we are higher or lower on a ladder that does not mean anything. Love is far too content and at peace to care. Love invites and draws closer to others.
Love God. Love neighbor. Love ourselves. On this day, how will you love in advance? Right now, will you choose to love the stranger at the grocery check-out line, the person vaping in their car, or the person with vastly different beliefs? The good news is we have a choice and we know the choice that puts us beside God—love in advance.
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